On being crazy

The tracks for our new EP are pretty much finished (HURRAY!) and we are starting the production on our video for the first single. The video is going to be centered around de-stigmatizing mental illness (ooo, big words!), and while I know that sounds like something you might read in an Oprah Magazine, believe me when I say that I see this concept as so much more than a “hot topic”.

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with type II bipolar (which comedian Maria Bamford calls “the new gladiator sandal” cause it’s, like, so in right now) as well as anxiety and panic disorder. I’ve always been cautious not to say too much about my mental illness online, mostly because I was scared of how people would react. Will they think I’m just a weak/ lazy person and tell me to suck it up? Will they become uncomfortable when they hear scary words like “bipolar” and walk away slowly, making no sudden movements?

I also tried to keep a lot of this to myself because I HATED the mentally ill part of my brain. Can’t I just scoop it out with a spoon and pretend this never happened? See this girl lying in a FIELD of CUPCAKES?? THAT is who I am, not this twisted, dark, maniac who can’t get through a shift at work without curling up into a ball in the staff bathroom!

I tend to forget that mental illness is not who I am… it’s an ILLNESS. Not only is it an illness, it ‘s a COMMON illness. I’ve seriously had a doctor say to me “Oh sweetheart, you’re the third suicidal person I’ve seen this morning!” The clinic had only been open for two hours.

So I’m going to start talking about it, and I’m going to start writing songs about it, and I’m most definitely going to stop lying about why I’m always going to the doctor. (The flu? Again? Really?)

I’ve been inspired by other artists who are open about their experiences. Hearing their stories has helped me get to this place of acceptance… I know, I know, I’m starting to sound like Dr. Phil, but it’s true! So here’s to everyone dealing with mental illness in some way, shape or form. My heart goes out to you!


Posted: August 14th, 2013 | Author: